Friday, October 9, 2009

Struggle in the Silence

I have to admit, the last week or so of striving for reaching silence in prayer and maintaining the silence long enough to find the voice of God has been difficult and unfruitful. Much like the weather outside, it's kind of rainy in my prayer right now. I am in no short supply of consolation; last night I found no desolations in my entire day (maybe I wasn't looking hard enough but you get the idea)--a smooth, enjoyable Vision interview; a beautiful worship aid for the concert in Wisconsin; making solid progress on midterm papers.

However, despite the shortcomings in nightly reflection, I still found great joy in the solemnity of Adoration. Having adjusted my half-hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, I now aim to be silent or pursuing silent for half the time so as to let the real presence of Jesus speak to me. Reflecting on the issue of love and how I am meant to love and meant to give love, I thinking about the important relationships to me.

What defines a best friend? What is it about my good friends that I seek to gain in other relationships, too? What would be a relationship goal for my friendships and for any potential serious relationships? The answer that came to me in the silence was contentment that when you say good bye to the person that this time spent together won't be the best time or the last time. The way I look for love and seek to give it is (1) to offer and establish consistency and reliability in support and presence, that I will be there whenever needed and (2) to be present to the people I am with and accept that not every time has to be the most fun ever had but at the same time realize that when we do have fun that there's always the prospect of having more fun as the friendship continues. So that's the kind of weird, personally interpreted version of love and friendship that I found through prayer...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Post

Having a Lucy

by Dan Masterton Every year, a group of my best friends all get together over a vacation. Inevitably, on the last night that we’re all toge...