In Our Human Frailty

In reading Book I of Augustine's City of God, I was struck by a passage amid Augustine's explanation of how good and bad people often are equally afflicted or blessed. Here is the excerpt that struck me as it was written, so you can absorb it before I tell you how I felt:

"Although the good dislike the way of the life of the wicked, and therefore do not fall into the condemnation which is in store for the wicked after this life, nevertheless, because they are tender towards damnable sins of the wicked, and thus fall into sin through fear of such people (pardonable and comparatively trivial though those sins may be), they are justly chastised with afflictions in this world, although they are spared eternal punishment; and they rightly feel this life to be bitter when they are associated with the wicked in the afflictions sent by God. But it was through love of this world's sweetness that they refused to be bitter to those sinners." (Book I, Chapter 9)

Wow. What consolation I somehow found here. Let me preface that my interpretation of this passage and how it hit me is based on the fact that I think I am a virtuous, good person--something that Augustine likes to challenge his readers to (re)examine in themselves.

I do dislike the way of evil, and my disdain for the evil I see and encounter keeps me from experiencing the profound detachment from God that is hell. However, my human condition--my weaknesses, my frailty, my original sin, my use of free will to choose evil at times--leaves me vulnerable to evil and sin.

I think the most accurate word for this reality is one Pascal uses to describe our condition--wretchedness; or as I sometimes call it, frailty. And a somewhat unusual or unnatural way to view this is as a gift (thanks, Bro. John). It is hard to embrace one's weaknesses but that can create strength. I have come to view my weaknesses as gifts that are kind of a slap in the face to help me realize things. Among other things, my often-excessive ego and arrogance helps me realize that my intentions are not always as pure and righteous as they could and should be. My inconsistent confidence and cyclical outgoing-ness are weaknesses that deter me from being myself fully and at all times; they prevent me from giving my gifts/strengths completely to others when my outreach could be a consolation to people who need it and keep me from realizing my full potential.

Augustine tells us that because of our vulnerability and the way we turn to sin--even if only momentary or rarely--make the afflictions we face just. However, the beauty is that though the presence of affliction is just, God does not make these hardships endure; they are fleeting problems. Even if they are lifelong, the glory and peace of eternal life with God tears away temporal evil and affliction. We are justly afflicted with hardship for the sins we commit, but we are spared from eternal affliction if we embrace God again. God remains there, in constant love for us, through all the affliction. Sin is the active choice to reject love, and God is always available to us, waiting to (re)receive us. He created incredible special access for us through the Incarnation, both to His person as the Word became Incarnate and to penance, grace, and absolution through the expiation of sin in Jesus' death on the Cross and the sacrament of Reconciliation instituted in Christ's Church. We can return to God through His Son and the absolution offered in Jesus' redemptive death through our sacrament.

"It was through love of this world's sweetness that they refused to be bitter to those sinners" -- what is this world's sweetness for you? What keeps you from becoming embittered to sinners? Sinners are full people, too, and they must be shown the light and love of God and His forgiving graces. For, ultimately, we at one time or another, or frequently, are part of that "them" that is "sinners". So we must forgive others' trespasses as they forgive us since our frailty moves us to rejoin the sinners time and time again.

Through God's abundant love, we can always return to Him and (re)reject sin if we genuinely and honestly admit our fault and seek the forgiving grace of the Father. This diligent spirituality and striving to be and do good leads us to the eternal reward that Christ has opened for us with Him: we are justly chastised with afflictions in this world, but we are spared eternal punishment.