Saying Good-bye

So this is kind of a dangling thought-without-a-conclusion post, but here goes...

I realized today in a more full way that I am really bad at saying good bye. I'm talking about any kind of good bye-- after eating a meal with someone, ending a conversation in passing or even on the phone, before a friend goes abroad, leaving friends at home for school or school for home, etc. I think the only one I have down is the one with my parents when going back to school.

I'm not sure what this really entails ore reveals, but it's a quirky fact that has its source in my weird affections. I am an obsessive hugger and usually want to begin or end anything with hugs, which I think typically people are not ready for, not expecting, or do not want. That's the best way I know to reencounter someone or see them off until the next time.

The best example of this is after long, deepish, genuine person-to-person conversations. You have to end them sometime, and when I do end them, I don't know how. My favorite simple solution to that is silence or simple approval. I hold close to my heart a pair of late nights at Catholics on Call in August, when to quote my conversation brother Jeremy, we were "transfigured" before each other because of the ways we opened ourselves to each other in sharing life and faith. When my friend Regina and I walked down the hall back to our rooms to finally go to bed at 4:something AM, we hugged each other and I remember so clearly her saying just, "Yeah. ... Yeah," in a simple, heartfelt approval and embracing of the love shared that night.