Live-Blogging Kairos: Getting Started

Being a Campus Minister, I go on a lot of retreats. And though my preference would be to enter into them as fully as I can, the duties of supervising/chaperoning, or sometimes directing, can preclude me from that fuller investment.

I am here at a retreat center with my school's chaplain, who directs our Kairos retreats, another teacher who drove our supply car, and the seven student leaders who are tending to the final particulars - hanging room signs, setting up our meeting spaces, etc. This is my third Kairos of the year, in addition to a senior overnight and three school-day retreats.

For those who need a little introduction, Kairos is a four-day retreat named after the Greek word for "God's time." The concept of God-time rather than calendar-time/clock-time calls Kairos retreatants to embrace timelessness, to give up clocks and cell phones, and trust their leaders as they spend four days and three nights investigating relationships with self, others, and God. The extended length coupled with lots of community building leads to deeper trust and openness between teenagers than in everyday life or even than on other retreats.

I went on Kairos as a senior in high school, and then led it later that year. As a teacher last year at a high school in California, I went as an adult leader, and later in the year, I directed a Kairos, completing the Kairos superfecta. This year, I find myself in a new role I barely knew existed - somewhat of a deputy director.

I am working in support of a chaplain who has a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and experience directing retreats, specifically Kairos retreats. He does a fabulous job when he can be with us, but he works only part-time at the school, spending most of his time in his ministry as a parish associate pastor and only coming full-time for the retreat itself. To keep things rolling strong, I am deputized to do a small-group training workshop and a talk-writing workshop with our leaders as part of their preparation; then on retreat, I sort of sit at his right hand and do some of the auxiliary errands to move things along. I am the Kairos first mate, hearing my chaplain's comments and concerns and helping plot the best courses of action.

Meanwhile, I still give a talk and still am part of a small group in support of a student leader. And more importantly, I'd love to be mingling with the students and getting to know them in the context of this immersive retreat. I am pulled between two worlds, two necessary and central ministries, and as a result, gain a new view of Kairos.

This perspective of a deputy director, so to speak, is simultaneously frustrating and enlightening. I bear little to none of the responsibilities of steering the whole ship but am involved in all of the minutiae and scrutiny. From this viewpoint, drawing also on the six Kairos retreats I've already experienced, I am going to attempt to share some of my thoughts as they arise at the end of each of our four days on Kairos. I appreciate the irony of coming to my laptop on the evenings of a retreat, but given my repetitions through this process and the value that writing holds for me as a processing tool, I think it's fitting for where I am personally and as a pastoral minister. Hope you'll enjoy!

A brief reflection to begin: this morning my stack of Kairos retreat permission slips contained 39 forms, one short of the holy grail of completion. Despite an announcement yesterday and the form's directive that it be turned in last week, one student remained delinquent. Then this morning, mere minutes before the bell rang to start the day, in he walked, permission slip in hand, to complete the total set. What glory indeed.

Meanwhile, in the past few days, 3 of my 57 seniors turned in their forms for their retreat, coming up at the end of the month. Their form is due 10 days from now, yet three of them saw fit to get it in and done early. What delight it brings a ragged minister to see such initiative.

I couldn't help but think of Jesus and the Lost Sheep. The shepherd loves his whole flock, but will readily set the 99 aside that remain nearby to seek out the one who is lost. Chances are, the kids who turn forms in early will be open-minded and primed to give retreats an honest effort; meanwhile, the last-minute guys might be a bit more scattered and unfocused toward it. At the end of the day, I would have chased him down to get that form, lest he not be able to come on retreat at all. Now that he is found, all the sheep are together, and the shepherd can resume treating them with equal and deep love.

Here on K3, it's almost time to assemble the flock in full and hand them on their student leaders shepherds.