Published at Grotto Network: How to Help Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One

by Dan Masterton

My latest article at Grotto Network is up. In this one, I tried to share some practical, contextualized ways for people to walk with a friend who is processing loss. It starts:

In 2013, my mother passed away at the age of 60. She was less than two months into a cancer diagnosis and treatment plan when complications led to blood clotting and a fatal stroke.

We expected the treatment period to be challenging, but we did not anticipate that she wouldn’t survive it. We all gathered around her as she faded and passed, and even after her eyes were closed for good and her voice could no longer speak, her small gestures and hand squeezes told us she heard our final words and I-love-you’s. 

What followed was a week full of laughter, tears, and socializing that we retrospectively call “mom week” — when we planned and celebrated a memorial for my mom. I joined my brothers, future wife, sister-in-law, and dad, to gather photos and talk to friends and family. The whole experience helped me immensely, even though I was experiencing profound grief.

My mom eating pierogi with me
on our mom-son trip to Poland in 2012.

Most of what I thought and wrote came from my first-hand experience of losing my mom, and the way my family and I worked through it. Our process was pretty healthy, full of a lot of honest laughter and tears of both joy and grief. Many of you, dear readers, were loving companions and prayerful advocates during that time and continue to be. Between all of your shared memories and the legacy of our little Lucy Karen, mom's legacy of love is strong. And this reflection hopefully adds to it by how it may help others.

Read the whole article here, and check out Grotto Network's website, including its excellent social media.