“This is the way the world endsHaving recently finished another academic year, I can’t help but feel echoes of Eliot’s word in my own life. A bit dramatic, I know, but it encapsulates the sense of anti-climax that I feel at the end of the semester. Rather than feeling a great sense of accomplishment, triumph, or even relief, I mostly feel tired. I find myself thinking about the could’ves and should’ves of the year, not to mention that I haven’t yet mastered the art of planning the elusive enough-but-not-too-much material for the end of the year, and feel like I’ve been doing glorified crowd control for the past week (or two….).
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.”
-T.S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men”
Now, I could choose to wallow in my many shortcomings. Goodness knows as a new(ish) teacher—and a young adult—there are certainly enough of them to go around. With all the things I could be doing better, and my genuine desire to do things well, there can be a great temptation to discouragement.
Over the past few years, though, through the help of community, I’ve discovered an antidote for despairing. This is something I call “embracing the mediocrity.” I realize that this probably sounds odd, so let me explain further.
When I first lived in community through the Echo program, my community members and I felt overwhelmed by the demands that were placed on us. We had just moved to a new state, far from any family or friends and as any first year teacher can attest, the experience of being in a classroom for the first time is something akin to being thrown into the deep end of the pool with little-to-no swimming instruction (and then people start throwing things at you).
In addition, we had certain program expectations such as a weekly community night, which was supposed to involve a meal, an activity of some sort, and prayer together.1 We were not always (read: often) able, however, to meet all the expectations that were placed in front of us. As such, we began to refer to ourselves—somewhat tongue in cheek—as the “mediocre community.”
With this communal embrace of our own shortcomings came a great freedom and peace. It allowed me to become vulnerable and break down the façades of “having everything together,” which actually allowed me to strive real betterment. Amazingly enough, when you’re not so busy pretending like everything is perfect, you have more time and energy to do the things that you can as well as you can.
Embracing the mediocrity means looking toward an ideal, striving for that ideal, and not becoming discouraged when I don’t hit the mark. It means recognizing my own finitude and trying to grow within those limits. It means leaning into the discomfort and messiness of life, taking things as they come, and seeking excellence in whatever ways you can. It’s a reminder that everything this is not my intended resting place; I’m still on the way.
Christ told us to be perfect. I’m definitely not there yet. Embracing the mediocrity gives me great hope because I know that any power I have for good is His gift of grace at work in my life. It gives me hope because I know that this is not the end and there are better things ahead.
“And when night comes, and you look back over the day and see how fragmentary everything has been, and how much you planned that has gone undone, and all the reasons you have to be embarrassed and ashamed: just take everything exactly as it is, put it in God’s hands and leave it with Him. Then you will be able to rest in Him—really rest—and start the next day as a new life." —St. Edith Stein
1 I say “supposed to” because often one of those three things would get jettisoned.
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I was in prayer on Saturday and Jesus led me to read what Saint Thomas Aquinas said in the Office of Readings, commenting on "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
ReplyDeleteIt is better to limp along the way than to stride along off the way. For a man who limps along the way, even if he only makes slow progress, eventually comes to the end of the way; but one who is off the way, the more quickly he runs, the further away is he from his goal.
Do I hear an amen?
AMEN! Thanks for sharing that!
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