by Dan Masterton
* * *
My name is Dan Masterton, and I am the Campus Minister at St. Benedict Preparatory School in the North Center neighborhood of Chicago. I didn’t go into work today... or yesterday... and I won’t go in tomorrow... I am home on paid paternity leave with my wife, Katherine, and our newborn daughter, Lucy Karen.
I’m sure in your many years ministering to so many people and families, you’ve met lots of children, and maybe even held your fair share of babies. But have you ever had the chance to really hold a baby? To just stare plaintively at the little face of a person so young? To just get to marvel at their searching gaze, their myriad wrinkles and skin rolls, their complete helplessness? And without the pressure of the next meeting or phone call bearing down on you?
If not, I’d enjoy bringing Lucy to meet you sometime. As I was relishing this very thing the other day, I felt a peace and simplicity I’ve only previously felt when praying the Liturgy of the Hours with the monks at the Abbey of Gethsemani. Staring deep into the gaze of this baby invites me into a monastic timelessness. Even as the whirr of traffic, the hubbub of the sidewalks, and the roar of the L continue around me, I have moments when I’m totally unaware of it all as I hold my resting baby daughter. (Additional feelings arise when she’s restive rather than resting.)
I have long felt a strong and clear call to marriage, to family life, and to fatherhood, and I have been especially excited for it ever since I married my wife, promising her earnestly that I am going to be a great dad. My gifts and personality correspond well to fatherhood, and my God-given easy-going way disposes me well to dealing with the anxieties that pregnancy brought and that parenthood brings. But there was something more that helped strengthen and solidify my peace and humble confidence in approaching fatherhood: I knew, that for at least twelve weeks, my full-time job would simply be learning how to be a dad.
Now, a lot of it is a how-to crash course, a whirlwind of repetition in the musts of baby care: diaper and clothing changes, soothing a baby, gently putting her down to bed, reading her cues, etc. It has been invaluable to keep pace with my wife in learning those necessary tasks. Additionally, my wife and I have identified “dad jobs”: dad burps her after feeds; dad swaddles her before bed (because he has learned to do it very well); dad does the baths. I love how these special moments are always mine to share with my daughter, and I get to practice and enjoy them regularly and repeatedly like it’s my job.
Most importantly, I’ve had the privilege of getting to realize my fatherhood immersively. Sure, I had the butterflies-in-the-stomach excitement at the positive pregnancy test, at the wonder of the ultrasounds, and at the sound of her heartbeat – but after each of those moments, I went back to work and spent the majority of my time on the job. Now with my daughter born, having the time and energy – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – to focus primarily and thoroughly on being a dad helps move me deeper. Fatherhood isn’t just a concept or the topic of small-talk when people greet me; being a dad is the evolution and development of my vocation as a husband and family man. Immersing in these first moments of fatherhood, and doing so temporarily free from splitting myself between the constituencies of work and home, makes this reality a cultivated, internalized thing, a part of me and my life and my identity and who I am.
So when people see the three of us or come to visit, and they ask about our leaves from work, I tell them that I have twelve weeks paid to spend with my family. And when they express their surprise or envy or delight, I tell them, “Thanks, Cardinal Cupich.”
So to you,
and everyone in our archdiocesan offices
and administration
who worked to make this privilege of working for the Church a reality,
from a father at home
with a beautiful baby daughter
and a wife who enjoys tackling parenthood together,
thank you.
God bless,
Dan Masterton
I have long felt a strong and clear call to marriage, to family life, and to fatherhood, and I have been especially excited for it ever since I married my wife, promising her earnestly that I am going to be a great dad. My gifts and personality correspond well to fatherhood, and my God-given easy-going way disposes me well to dealing with the anxieties that pregnancy brought and that parenthood brings. But there was something more that helped strengthen and solidify my peace and humble confidence in approaching fatherhood: I knew, that for at least twelve weeks, my full-time job would simply be learning how to be a dad.
Now, a lot of it is a how-to crash course, a whirlwind of repetition in the musts of baby care: diaper and clothing changes, soothing a baby, gently putting her down to bed, reading her cues, etc. It has been invaluable to keep pace with my wife in learning those necessary tasks. Additionally, my wife and I have identified “dad jobs”: dad burps her after feeds; dad swaddles her before bed (because he has learned to do it very well); dad does the baths. I love how these special moments are always mine to share with my daughter, and I get to practice and enjoy them regularly and repeatedly like it’s my job.
Most importantly, I’ve had the privilege of getting to realize my fatherhood immersively. Sure, I had the butterflies-in-the-stomach excitement at the positive pregnancy test, at the wonder of the ultrasounds, and at the sound of her heartbeat – but after each of those moments, I went back to work and spent the majority of my time on the job. Now with my daughter born, having the time and energy – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – to focus primarily and thoroughly on being a dad helps move me deeper. Fatherhood isn’t just a concept or the topic of small-talk when people greet me; being a dad is the evolution and development of my vocation as a husband and family man. Immersing in these first moments of fatherhood, and doing so temporarily free from splitting myself between the constituencies of work and home, makes this reality a cultivated, internalized thing, a part of me and my life and my identity and who I am.
So when people see the three of us or come to visit, and they ask about our leaves from work, I tell them that I have twelve weeks paid to spend with my family. And when they express their surprise or envy or delight, I tell them, “Thanks, Cardinal Cupich.”
So to you,
and everyone in our archdiocesan offices
and administration
who worked to make this privilege of working for the Church a reality,
from a father at home
with a beautiful baby daughter
and a wife who enjoys tackling parenthood together,
thank you.
God bless,
Dan Masterton
(father of Lucy)
News like this make me proud to be a practical Catholic. The only thing that would make this better (for me) is if Dan is in CFM or knows somebody in the Christian Family Movement.
ReplyDelete--Dan VanB