Last Thursday, Catholics all over the world went to Mass. Even though it was a Thursday. A bunch also probably didn’t.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg27ZP_M-K8xMW9XXz54cIbuXqhp3d98b5rtCCJsCzFHqW_dwJrco6AOv1xCioYJLwLLfYZTlOnBoM3e9K4G_9ecUOxY5ZvYSeo7lV13tF8JYKAm-B-Rk4_VgDNOgUs2yJB50bLhM5jCJ4/s320/url.jpg)
Yet, while we call these Holy Days of Obligation, many Catholics don’t feel obligated to turn out for Mass. At the school where I work, we moved our weekly Mass from Tuesday to Thursday to have our students celebrate the holy day together, and I wonder how many would have gone in the evening if they hadn’t gone at school? I think for many people, a lot of decisions come down to but is it required?
As I briefed my freshmen and sophomores about their upcoming overnight retreat, after instructing them on how to pack and prepare, the eventual question raised was, “Is this mandatory?” When our employers announce that dreaded special event after hours or on the weekend, many of us and our co-workers are often quick to wonder, “Is this contractually mandated?” When we get bills and legal notices from government offices, we look at the information and look for an answer to the question, “Do I legally have to do this?”
Sometimes, we won’t do things unless we have to do them. Sometimes, we’re lazy. Sometimes, we’re stubborn. Sometimes, we’re scared or nervous. Whatever the reason, there are times where we need to be pushed.
There are lots of ways to get that nudge - requirement by the law, stipulations in our contracts, penalties for disobedience. Those tactics are sometimes necessary for wide-scale participation, for teaching younger people what is necessary and important, or even for beginning to create a culture or attitude that supports something that is needed. These methods will prompt us to participate, but only do so in a obligatory way; it won’t draw our hearts into authentic interest.
The strongest way to foster a culture and attitude of participation is by social reinforcement. People want to participate in something when the relationships they value are integrally part of the same experience. Eventually, as we mature and grow up, as we learn our passions and gifts, we find the confidence to, at least some of the time, personally choose to do some things for their own sake; however, at our human hearts, we are social beings who are fueled by the love we give and receive in relationship. Many of these important things start as something that we are required to do, and as we mature and grow up, we need to grow to commit freely to important things and build relationships that sustain that commitment.
If I want my students to come on a service trip, I need to talk to them personally and recruit groups of friends to consider coming together. If I want my friends to meet me out at a bar or restaurant, I need to send them a personalized message (or better yet call them!). If I want people to join me for Advent Reconciliation or celebrate a Holy Day of Obligation Mass with me, I need to invite them myself.
I all too often see in my workplace, among my students, and in everyday life, that we are utterly reliant on social media, technology, and posted flyers to share information and get people involved. While big stuff like professional sports and clothing lines and food brands can rely on the quantity of passive advertisement, interpersonal things require a personal touch, invitation and interaction.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiimpej7q-OKS2Im3eXtWalbikBq8Bx2vTcPAWQKhYqMEiPbEpH3LSP5i1ymaiRTEkQfFIA80e2MHSil8FsjcwTIrUUNZuyo15KR_zrB3ZYge02kYAo5AyT6OPQ6dfU45o_1hjP_sp5BWc/s320/url-1.jpg)
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIcVg-jQ3PEBD_Q_a7qZNW3fm6_06dFXM-vqm7pKFAvE84a2S6EEiE1pxx7jqOk7LzRnS9PFl-S1xZf5xhuFDU_0M0biKhuud2tpV2yaXMhGnc4t1NU3DRp24u_o_BnDsbsQBHwAHAcp0/s320/ap_78000289918421_wide-56589009ac79ed336e6dca70d5fceb1a96d83909-s900-c85.jpg)
I see this succeed at my parish where the Young Adult community builds itself organically by word of mouth. As 20- and 30-somethings move to the area, their friends who are already here and who belong to the parish are proud of it and talk up the vitality of our community, the offerings of the YA group, and the fun events that one can attend, from once-a-month Wine and Cheese Socials to the big Theology on Tap events in the summer. The key is that we don’t depend on the event itself to draw the crowd but on the people who value the gatherings to draw in their friends and animate the scene by their social presence.
I think back to a few Advents ago. I had not been to Reconciliation in too long, and I knew that my then-girlfriend was in the same boat. Our parish announced a seasonal service, and I personally invited both her and another friend, who was busy with grad school, to join me. The three of us met up, went to the service together, and waited in line together to each take our turn with the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It was affirming to have that experience of grace with my friends because I knew all three of us wanted to be there, if we only had the social reinforcement to go together, and now we were there together, supporting one another.
I think even further back to senior year of high school. Many of my friends and I had just attended our Kairos retreat, and we came back riding the “Kai-high,” that strong feeling of peace and grace from vulnerably and authentically experiencing God in that four-day retreat. I knew that sustenance would come from the relationships I found there and from praying regularly for those people. As my friends and I applied to lead, and a few of us were selected, I tried to help one friend in particular who had been chosen to lead. He wanted badly to ignite his faith, but his family didn’t really practice it. I invited him over to my house to help jump-start his witness talk, and I left my family a few Sundays to drive out to his parish and attend Mass with him. Then, on Christmas Eve, as my family prepared to attend Mass, my friend reached out and asked if he could come to my parish instead of going alone at his church. My family and I were delighted as he joined us.
So as holy days approach, as the weekend turns toward each Sunday morning, as you wonder how long it’s been since your last confession, I hope some of the relationships in your life can be the source of companionship and inspiration to draw you into those positive spiritual habits. And if you enjoyed two Masses in four days last week, if you already know when you’ll be doing your Advent Reconciliation, and if you have your Christmas Mass plan already sketched out, ask yourself: To whom can I reach out? Who can I invite to celebrate our faith? Help our Church by being the hands and feet of Christ to transform requirement with the depth of your relationships.
For further reading, Jenny passed along this great reflection on why it's ok to say "I have to go Mass," which Simcha Fisher published on December 8, 2015.
No comments:
Post a Comment