So on Catholics on Call, I learned the luminous gem of little discernments from my wonderful group mentor, Sr. Lisa. The basic idea is that discernment is not just a grand process but also a moment-to-moment/day-by-day thing-- smaller decisions you make in the short-term or even in the parts of your day play a part in the grander scheme, contributing to and shaping your formation and leading to vocation.
Well, I came to a new version of "little" by reflecting on one of my favorite prayers, the Song of Simeon. I pray the words that the monks of Gethsemani use in their sung version of it for Compline; it's based on the excited reaction of Simeon upon seeing Jesus in the Gospel. I wrote it out, prayed it, and reflected upon it. So here it is followed by my progression of thoughts leading to a new "little"...
Lord, save us! Save us while we are awake;
Protect us while we are awake
That we may keep our watch with Christ,
And when we are asleep,
Rest in His peace.
First off, sleep can be a prayer. There is some middle ground between just doing the sign of the cross then passing out and trying to find such an intense prayer that you'll dream up revelatory inspired visions. I like to find a place of peace and subdued prayer before God that kind of overlaps with sleep. Somehow, I believe there can be a connection between intentional prayer and peaceful rest in sleep.
For a while, I just let Stay With Me, a song from Taizé, run in my head: Stay with me; remain here with me; watch and pray; watch and pray.
Next, I found in the prayer the reflection of the human need and desire to achieve or accomplish things that lives so strongly within me-- often, too strongly. However, here that kind of feeling is manifested is a way that feels rightly directed toward God. It reflects an appropriate and right idea of love motivated by a longing urgency to be with God and know Him and His will better.
The other element that this prayer upholds so well is our prayerful desire to be with God and Him with us in all times of our life. This prayer talks about the two major parts of our lives, asking God for specific help and aid within both sleeping and waking life. We strive to know God and be His instruments while awake, but our lives leave us tired and needing rest, where we also need God to provide us peace and recharge us so we may grow when we awake.
Finally, thinking about the repetition of pleading to God to save us, I wondered what it meant to ask to be saved. Christ has already defeated death, and through Him and the satisfaction He made for sin, we can access salvation and intimacy with God. Ok, so the eternal range of salvation is addressed, but what about the smaller things? the day-to-day? So I bounced some questions and thoughts around that I'll leave floating here:
-Does God save us little by little? Does He save us in small ways daily? I am not suggesting we have like a savings account of salvation increments, but do we have smaller moments of grace that are salvific?
-Can this perhaps be true in narrower terms? Maybe not in terms of smaller moments "on the way" to eternal salvation, but in smaller ways in daily life?
-The way I tried to process it: There are moments of grace or inspiration that direct our spirituality, faith, life, or decisions and guide us closer to God or prevent us from straying from the right path by making bad judgments or exposing ourselves to bad circumstances. <-- If that's true, how does that relate to little discernments?
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