I’ve heard from some folks that when they’ve heard vocation discussed in their Catholic faith lives, they hear it only in the context of vocations to the priesthood, in a largely single-minded way. I’m grateful to report that hasn’t been my experience.
In high school, I remember learning about the four states of life: single, married, religious, and ordained. In college, I enjoyed friendships and mentorships where the word “discernment” was used liberally for decisions of majors, career directions, internships, and states of life. I had the chance to work for a university summer program that strived to form visiting teenagers in earnest explorations of broader vocational discernment, focused on identifying one’s gifts and passions and putting them to the service of the needs of others and the world. And in adult life, knowing those who’ve gone in and out of religious life discernment, as well as those who’ve wrestled with remaining single or discerned marriage, it’s been a blessing to have many faithful partners for rich conversations of discernment.
All of this is a blessing to my faith life, and it has helped me discern all that I am today: a husband, a father, a professional pastoral minister, a mostly-stay-at-home dad, and more.
The exit door waiting after |
At the end of that second year, it was clear to me that it wasn’t sustainable. I felt like a weak link to my students, who needed consistent presence and constant availability. I felt like a weak link to my colleagues, who regularly exceeded their contracted responsibilities and went above and beyond for our kids. I wanted to draw firm limits on my work to be faithful to caring for my kids and wife and sustaining our home. When it was clear I’d have to exceed that to serve the community the way I thought it deserved, then I knew I needed to move on.
Part of the very good reason I rarely direct major, lengthy events anymore :) (Lucy toasting with me to my fellow Kairos adults when we got home.) |
As a student, I had the chance to get to know a few of the brothers and priests and stayed in touch with some of them into adulthood -- I teen-edited Gospel reflections and later in college got beers and pub grub with Fr. Corey when he was traveling in Europe and I was studying in London; I met Br. John for dinner in southern California when I lived out there and he was traveling and hiking with a friend; I even had grad school class with Fr. Dan as he studied for priesthood.
My friend, Br. John, has been directing vocation ministry for a few years, and, about two and half years ago, he asked the community to create a part-time role with him. He wanted better, more specific resources, a systematic way to catalogue inquiries and ensure timely responses, wider, better communications and social media, posters and branded items to spread around, and more. The job was created with remote flexibility, so, even before the pandemic, this stay-at-home dad could work one day a week on site and fill in the rest by remote access and phone and video calls. That arrangement was a great fit for my family life and the sustenance of my ministerial desires.
What I didn’t realize was the ways it’d form and inform my ministerial mindset.
First, Br. John doesn’t dislike “call” language but worries it’s too reductive. He likes to challenge people to consider what God is inviting them to do right now, and to acknowledge that God’s invitations are ongoing. This uncorks a reframing of discernment that is intriguing and fresh.
Additionally, we try to challenge the brothers, priests, and associates, as well as lay staff catechists, and community members, to embrace their roles as vocation ministers. While Br. John may be the one who has the intentional conversations with serious discerners, they most often arise from faithful, intentional companionship in their faith communities. So when people on the local levels own this, it can influence their accompaniment to include questions and encouragements on vocation.
Finally, we have try to toe the line in the approach. On the one hand, we don’t want to revert to older ways of vocation ministry. I would describe those as recruitment, at least in the way I’ve heard about them -- higher pressure, less screening and formation, and a greater focus on just turning young men into priests. On the other hand, he knows we cannot become so hands off or so casual that no one ever discusses the need for religious and priests -- vocational discernment, of all states of life, cannot decrease to zero.
Instead, vocation culture is perhaps best when all states of life are honored and featured -- in talks and discussions, in posters and videos -- and then, as part of that process, the specific question is asked, “Is God perhaps inviting you to religious life or priesthood?” It doesn’t need to be the first or only question asked in discernment, but does need to be a question that is asked.
This week is National Vocations Awareness Week. Because of my life of faith in a lot of exceptional faith communities, I feel very aware of my vocation and how I came to live it (and am coming to live it), very aware of the many vocations in the life of the Church, and aware of my place as a companion to others as they seek God’s invitation for them.
This week, I challenge you: pray for an increase in vocations to religious life and priesthood. Ask God for clarity to see and more deeply understand God’s ongoing invitations for you. Consider who around you in your circle of friends, family life, or faith community might be in need of discernment accompaniment, and if they’re single and humbly minded toward service, you might ask, “Could God be inviting you to religious life or priesthood?”
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