So, just like any Jesuit school student would do, I began to reflect.
When thinking about where God had been in my life, I thought of a friend. It was in the midst of challenges with this friend that I had to lean on my God-given gifts to overcome my friend’s doubt. Consumed in a cloud of depression, this friend had begin to lose sight of the big picture.
My friend had come to believe because of all of their mistakes, God could no longer overlook their flaws. This friend began to see themself as unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness. For months, I watched my friend struggle with faith and hope, which in return, stumped me as well. How do you give advice or support when statements like “Give up it to God, and pray” simply do not cut it.
Lucky for me I had seen the way this friend had shined once before. This friend had demonstrated friendship to many so many times before that they had defined unconditional friendship. Last semester, I had started college at a school in Oregon. While I was up there, I, too, began to slip into a gloomy outlook on life. I felt unproductive and unmotivated. There were a good three weeks where all I did was go to class, and watch Netflix. I missed God, and sunk into a self-created depression.
Lucky for me I had seen the way this friend had shined once before. This friend had demonstrated friendship to many so many times before that they had defined unconditional friendship. Last semester, I had started college at a school in Oregon. While I was up there, I, too, began to slip into a gloomy outlook on life. I felt unproductive and unmotivated. There were a good three weeks where all I did was go to class, and watch Netflix. I missed God, and sunk into a self-created depression.
I firmly believe that when you are about to go through a rough time in life, God places people in your life to help you get through that event. I was able to survive last semester because my friends refused to see me lose my faith. My best friends and boyfriend would remind me how to be myself. It sounds so silly, but it’s true. They would call to make sure I did things with my day, or send funny care packages.
When our good friends lose their way, it’s our job to remember their blessings. It our duty to recall the things that made them happy, and most importantly to remind them of the relationship they once shared with God.
Regardless, of the hardships last semester brought, my friends reminded me that the best had yet to come. These friends’ being present prevented me from ever thinking that God was absent or had given up on me. Looking at where I am this semester, at a new school, loving life, and watching God work through my daily life, I had just lived out the advice I needed to give my friend. While my friend had thought they had no self-worth left, they were the very face of God for me.
They way I think about it is, my friend and I are looking at the same downhill street. I can kind of see the end of the street – it’s not clear, but I know it’s there. I can kind of make out a flower that survived a rainstorm, and sort of see the sun starting to come back out. My friend is standing right next to me, looking down the same street.
They way I think about it is, my friend and I are looking at the same downhill street. I can kind of see the end of the street – it’s not clear, but I know it’s there. I can kind of make out a flower that survived a rainstorm, and sort of see the sun starting to come back out. My friend is standing right next to me, looking down the same street.
However, from their perspective, there are untrimmed trees, bushes, and vines blocking the view. The end of the street is cloudy and grey, and the sun looks like it’s never coming back. The ministry of friendship calls us to pull them to where we are standing, and show them the bigger picture, to remind them that the sun does in fact come back out.
It’s apparent that in the Gospel, Jesus didn’t just say he would be a friend of faith; He showed it too. I realized that I was at a solid place in my faith, and this could be used to my advantage. I needed to be creative on how I was going to help my friend. So I began to think differently. I would go to Mass and dedicate all the love I had gained from a homily to this friend. In moments where I was hopeful, I asked God to show my friend the same type of hope. I would pray for enemies when they couldn’t, and loved them even more at their worst moments. I would send my friend devotionals that spoke about losing hope, and made sure they never stopped going to Communion.
It’s apparent that in the Gospel, Jesus didn’t just say he would be a friend of faith; He showed it too. I realized that I was at a solid place in my faith, and this could be used to my advantage. I needed to be creative on how I was going to help my friend. So I began to think differently. I would go to Mass and dedicate all the love I had gained from a homily to this friend. In moments where I was hopeful, I asked God to show my friend the same type of hope. I would pray for enemies when they couldn’t, and loved them even more at their worst moments. I would send my friend devotionals that spoke about losing hope, and made sure they never stopped going to Communion.
I remembering thinking, “For now, I’m going to have enough faith for the both of us. You will get through this.” I was going to love my best friend through it, just as God does for us.
Friendship is such a powerful gift. It challenges you to be God’s voice, when your best friend can’t find their own light. It reminds you that God is always rooting for you, not against you. Eventually, your friend will ask how you have hope, or why. It is then when you get to share the good news, and remind them that the best has yet to come.
Friendship is such a powerful gift. It challenges you to be God’s voice, when your best friend can’t find their own light. It reminds you that God is always rooting for you, not against you. Eventually, your friend will ask how you have hope, or why. It is then when you get to share the good news, and remind them that the best has yet to come.
God teaches us how to be a good friend, and embrace suffering. More than that, He teaches how to find ones faith again. This is what I would call the ministry of friendship. I believe that it’s a ministry we are all called to, and it can accompany any vocation.
Melissa Cedillo graduated from Xavier College Prep in Palm Desert, CA, in 2014, where she was involved in Campus Ministry and Student Council, among other things. From Palm Desert, CA, Melissa is currently a freshmen at Loyola Marymount (CA), where she is beginning a double-major in Theology and Biology. Melissa can be reached at melissann19@icloud.com. (Editor's note: I was Melissa's confirmation sponsor.)
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