Relationship or Public Relations?

I just can't seem to resolve the internal tensions I'm feeling in the midst of this heated-up battle for the smart-phone market share.

Nokia is trying to take a bite out of it with ads that emphasize the power of their "reinvented zoom" on the smart phone camera that enables you take amazing pictures. No problem there. But it's the way they pitch it.

Much like Apple's pedestal-ization of the power of the iPhone's camera, iTunes, and FaceTime features, this new ad centers on a moment at a concert during which a girl takes a photo of the stage, uses the new zoom and crop to create a really sharp image of the performer, and quickly shares it with friends. We then see a montage of her friends' guffaw over what they think are her awesome seats.

Things that are ok: taking pictures at concert, sharing your experience with friends, being jealous of or impressed by or excited for friends' exploits.

Things that are dangerous: staring at your phone rather than the world around you, especially in the midst of a special experience like a live concert; having to share such experiences or know about others' immediately; needing to provoke a reaction via texts or social media.

I stopped the fast forward on a DVR-watch to review this commercial when it came up, wanting to hear my girlfriend's reaction as compared to mine, to see if my interpretation was ridiculous.

We started by expressing frustration at the girl's tunnel-vision, looking down into the funnel of light emanating from her backlit screen amid the hullabaloo of a concert.

Then we thought about how just being at the concert, and being there with a friend, was insufficient. The photo had to be shared - in this case, her friends also craved immediacy in pulling their phones out immediately and expressing mostly disbelief and jealousy.

We finished wondering - building off this growing impulse we feel to be documentarians of all things we experience - if because of the ease of doing video, photo, FaceTime, check-ins or status updates, we cannot resist providing a constantly refreshed stream of self-identification to the world. And if we cannot resist having tight control and immediate broadcast ability.

We as humans have always felt anxious about how others perceive us. In the past, we turned mainly to physical trappings. We might alter the way we dress, the way we talk, the expressions we use, the places we go to hang out, our hairstyle, etc. Now, the plethora of social media accounts out there provide a huge opportunity for people to control the flow of information about themselves and supply people with a very particular image.

Instagram provides your life in photos. Twitter broadcasts the stream of consciousness. Snapchat and Vine send around the mundane or sudden ideas. Foursquare and other "check-in" apps let people know where you've been and where you are. Pinterest shares your creativity. Tumblr, Blogger, Wordpress and others give you an online forum. Facebook does most all these things and more.

Everyone can basically become their own PR-firm, crafting the spread of information and updates about their exploits day-by-day, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute.

This can be a blessing and a curse. All technology can be used for good or bad. It's up to us to decide what to do with the power in the palms of our hands.

Sometimes, technology enables us to communicate with others more than we ever could before. It becomes a supplemental way for us to bridge the gap between encounters in the traditional ways (face-to-face conversation, nights out, etc). We get into trouble when the technology becomes the primary way we communicate with others (there are times when distance and/or time make it more necessary to resort to this) and takes a big bite out of traditional encounters. Worse, we really dehumanize ourselves when our mode of interaction and expression becomes solely electronic.

We become shadows of ourselves when we rely on a technological tapestry of our activity to define ourselves and show others who we are. Posts to social media can provide fodder to our friends that allow them to stay better plugged into the happenings of our lives. Checking in on friends online can be a great starting point to the next conversation you get to have with a person. The danger comes when our desire to keep tabs on a friend's life devolves into the only way we stay appraised of their lives.

This might be ok for old acquaintances from school or friends you might only care to see once in a blue moon. However, if our primary relationships - with parents, siblings, and best friends - evolve into this mode, the nourishment we need, the love that our being calls us to can give and receive back in kind, gets diluted. We go thirsty and find great difficulty finding legitimate sustenance through solely or heavily electronic relationship.

Let me offer myself as a case study, and cast the first stone at myself.

Pros? I turned off those little red numbers on my phone that tell me how many notifications I have in my Gmail or Facebook, and they also can no longer pop up in my lock screen. The camera in the iPhone is great, and it allows me snap pictures even if I forget or choose not to bring my point-and-shoot digital camera; plus, it syncs automatically to my laptop and is nifty for stuff at work and boosting my social media accounts there. Relatedly, I'm building a Twitter and Facebook following to try to get campus ministry and faith into the news-feed streams of teenagers and redeem some of the chatter that saturates those worlds. Finally, my dad loves picture messaging, especially about places we'd like to go as a family but can't necessarily all get to at the same time - sporting events, dinners out, visits to friends.

Cons? Texting and emailing is easier than ever, and my balance between just calling and/or visiting friends or co-workers in person can be tenuous. An in-person conversation can be so much more immediate and conclusive than the up-in-the-air-ness of email that I lean on too heavily. I, too, shoot photos and videos at sporting events and concerts. I try to limit myself to a select few pictures or a short video or two, but temptation can be strong. I think I did ok lucking into on-the-field seats at Notre Dame last weekend, and I only hope the memory is ingrained strongly from that one-of-a-kind experience. Most obsessively, I love the geo-tagging on Facebook. I love to post statuses or pictures on location and add locations to photos I post in batches. I meticulously went back in time and geo-tagged my photos on Facebook because I loved the map feature on my timeline and how it illustrated all the places I've been. It's definitely a guilty pleasure, and I know I've used it to brag.

What do you think? How do your social media and wireless capabilities affect your desire to create or control perception of you? Are you just telling it like it is and simply providing a link for people into your life? Are you very consciously and editorially choosing particular things to tailor an image? Are you complementing relationships through your usage or replacing interpersonal encounters with technological activity?

Even if you think your usage isn't troublesome, what about your intentions or motivations? Why are you checking in with a status and tagging the location? Why are you taking an Instagram of that sunset? Why are you checking your mail or refreshing your newsfeed?

At the end of the day, is the way that each of us use the technology at our fingertips oriented toward relationship or our own public image and perception? Is it emphasizing or belittling our humanity? Is it enhancing or diluting our human relationships?